Ordinary Men, Extraordinary Lives: Defining Moments

A note from Robert White: “Writing an essay for this Men’s Anthology was a delight!  Sometimes writing is sheer agony so when it flows easily, I know I should notice and be grateful for whatever force is moving through me and onto the page.

My subject in this book is identity and I share about three identities that have informed, blocked and guided my life.  Included in that story was the value of a weekend I spent with my friend, the late John Denver, as we simultaneously dealt with the sense of loss and pain in unwanted divorces.  In recent years I hadn’t thought much about John and our relationship and thought I was somewhat “complete” in my grieving process – after all, his death was in 1997 and that seems a long time ago.

Then in 2011 I joined 8,000 others to celebrate John’s induction as the first honoree of the Colorado Music Hall of Fame.  The concert was great plus it felt good to re-connect with his former wife Annie and other Aspen friends. 

The surprise was my experience of emotional release; of sadness from missing my friend; of anger that he died so young and left me; and of joy that he lived and contributed so much to me and so many others. The experience was one of being ambushed by my own feelings – at first it was an irritation which transitioned into feeling overwhelming gratitude for having my heart opened.

I mention the emotional experience above as an example of what you might find in Ordinary Men, Extraordinary Lives.  This book includes chapters by other men sharing more openly than men usually do.  You’ll be moved.  You’ll learn a lot about yourself and the men in your life.  I recommend it highly!”